User blog:Dorsted/Author Feedback about Aisha Chapter

'''Note: This contain spoiler after the end of the Main story of MT (After the events of WN 23). Note 2: mostly MTL with few revisions.''' Recopilation of the most interesting and important about the Q/A of the author this chapter

Chapter 2 (February 6, 2016)
Original Link: http://mypage.syosetu.com/mypageblog/view/userid/288399/blogkey/1340417/

 I wish they had at least shown more of Ars and Aisha's relationship before they got together.

How old is Ars?
 * I thought I'd written quite a bit here and there, but it's a lot harder than it sounds!
 * In case you're wondering, there are four more episodes to go. You can watch them there too!
 * 11 or so.

'.......However, I'm writing this story (6 Chapters) because I think it's one of the necessary stories in "Mushoku", so I'm sorry to say that it didn't fit. (Depending on how I wrote it, I could have softened the impact, or maybe even made it less shocking.'

Chapter 3 (February 7, 2016)
Original Link: http://mypage.syosetu.com/mypageblog/view/userid/288399/blogkey/1341141/

This story (6 chapters in total) is one of the stories necessary for "Mushoku Tensei", If so, I thought that you wanted to incorporate it in the main part.  What I felt bad about so far was that there was some foreshadowing that led to Aisha and Ars being tied together, but Ars personally was just a mob that finally had some dialogue on Millis' family trip. 'Aisha's character is also overwhelming. I'm also distressed by the change in Aisha's, which was a pure image..' 'Even if they werent an aunt and nephew, a sexual relationship between an adult and an 11 year old child, in a story that could lead to sexual abuse, is a heavy subject. In all seriousness, if you're not prepared for it, you shouldn't touch it.'
 * Actually, I was thinking of putting it between the Millis chapter and the decisive battle chapter, but it wasnt posible, because the progress of time was slower than I was expected.
 * I agree. I think there's no doubt in my mind that there wasn't enough foreshaowding.
 * As far as Aisha's character and behavior, it's not unreasonable in my opinion. I do wonder if I didn't dig deep enough.
 * I try to write the story of Mushoku tensei as sincerely as possible from the perspective of "what if a man reincarnated in a fantasy world faced this kind of problem". That perspective includes "Things that would never be allowed in the real world are allowed in a world with different laws and common sense (despite the problems). How should people think and act without laws and common sense?" This is the theme that I will be trying to address as long as I am writing this work. As long as I am writing this story, I will take on that theme. Even if I don't finish it, I will write it to the end, even if I am forced to escape from it by playing games like "love" or "friendship". If I don't finish it, I won't learn anything. If I were to write on the subject of "sexual abuse" as my main theme, I would not write it in the setting of a "fantasy world story" where there are many ways to escape, but in the real world, where there is no legal or ethical way to escape. What I'm trying to say is that I don't think the story is going to go as far as you wish, because the theme of "sexual abuse" is not internalized in this story at all. So I'm very sorry to say, but please stop reading here. But there is no doubt that I was shallow in response to those points. Next time when I write about a similar theme, I'll try to write more thoughtfully.

Chapter 4 (February 8, 2016)
Original Link: http://mypage.syosetu.com/mypageblog/view/userid/288399/blogkey/1342026/ People who have an aversion or hazy feeling about the relationship between Aisha and Ars probably have the illusion that their relationship is more like a mother-son relationship than an aunt-child or sister-brother kind of relationship.
 * Maybe.
 * Also, looking at the feedback section on the whole, there seems to be a great deal of haziness for those who didn't recognize Ars as a single character.
 * Ars has been seen as one of the mobs.
 * I think this is my fault for not carefully digging into the story beforehand.

Chapter 5 (February 9, 2016)
Original Link: http://mypage.syosetu.com/mypageblog/view/userid/288399/blogkey/1342780/

If I had brought the beginning of this story to the beginning of this chapter, the reaction might have been quite different!
 * Maybe.....
 * Whatever the case, I should have done more digging on Aisha and Ars beforehand.

A 15 year old Ars is much better than an 11 year old.


 * In that case, "I've graduated from school, and I'm an adult now! You could change the theme to something like "kids who think they are going to be rebelling against their parents". Of course, in that case, more people are going to hate Ars.


 * The idea of making Ars a 15 year old would only reduce the number of people who don't like the current development from 6 out of 10 to 4-5 out of 10.

It was nice to finally read Aisha's inner life. Some readers say they don't like Aisha anymore, but this chapter has helped some readers to like her a lot more.
 * In general, I'm not going to be able to say, "This would be perfect! No one complains about it! I guess it's not so much that it's not.
 * Yes. As for Aisha's inner life, I've always wanted to write about it.
 * Oh, I'm relieved to hear you say that.

Chapter 6 (February 10, 2016)
Original Link: http://mypage.syosetu.com/mypageblog/view/userid/288399/blogkey/1343343/

Author Thoughs

I wrote this story, thinking in my own way that this is a story that is necessary for Mushoku Tensei, and I was prepared to the critics. ''However, I realize that I still lacked all the fundamental things, such as knowledge and experience, not to mention my ability to write a story like this one, or perhaps I was overconfident in my own abilities. That I could write a shocking story head-on and still get it right, that I could convince people, or maybe I was spoiled by my readers. I thought that no matter what I wrote, it would be accepted somehow, that it would be okay, that it would be fine. But that wasn't the case, and the feedback on the finished product was often negative. Especially in regards to the second, third and fourth chapters.''

''Of course, we get a lot of comments like "it's interesting", "it makes me think", and "it was very interesting". I am very grateful to receive such feedback, and of course I don't mean to be indignant. However, I also received far more comments like "It was tough," "It was painful," and "I wish it hadn't happened" than I had expected. It's an amount that cannot be ignored. Seeing that kind of feedback made me feel that I had taken what I had carefully built up over the past three years and destroyed it in a careless decision. It's like looking at something that has fallen apart and saying, "I should have left it as it was," and being stunned.''

''As for the performance or lack of performance, "I tried my best, but it didn't work, so I can't help it! I can say that. It's always been the case. As I said above, I started writing this story because I thought it was a necessary story for unemployed reincarnation, and if it was necessary or unnecessary, I think it was necessary. Even if I hadn't written it this time, I would have written it somewhere at some point. However, was the content of the "bonus" chapter necessary? Was the "necessity" worth it, to the extent that it was worth discarding those who rejected it physiologically? If you ask me that, I honestly don't have the confidence to shake my head. At another point in time, for example, I could have included it in a reminiscence when I was writing the story of the unemployed reincarnation 80 years later, or something like that. Or even if you publish it now, you could have been more creative in your description and structure, you could have used more words, you could have delved deeper into the story, and you could have reduced the amount of criticism (even though it's natural for it to receive a certain amount of it). Shouldn't I have been content to just write about it and not put it out in public? In short, in addition to my lack of competence and outlook, I guess I wasn't prepared to do what I thought I was doing at all.''

''Some of you may have decided in this update that you will never read my work again. Those words are very sad, and I'm tempted to say it on the spur of the moment that I won't abandon you and that I'll do my best not to abandon you. I know I'll have to do something about it, eventually I'll rewrite it, or add to it, or even delete it as a death, but for now I'll just accept the reaction to what I've written as a result. For those who tell me that it was interesting, or that it was a bit tough this time, but that I should try harder next time, I'll use the lessons I've learned from the last episode and try to give them "interesting stories" from my heart.''

''However, as I've sensed since the last episode, I'm feeling a gap between the characters in the story of the unemployed person's reincarnation and the readers' tastes in this story. Maybe it's because time has passed and my memory has faded, or maybe I've changed as a result of the different people I've come into contact with over the past few years, or maybe I'm writing this story somewhat appropriately because it's a redundancy chapter. I don't know that, but I'm sure I've lost sight of the essential fun of unemployed reincarnation. So I'm thinking that I won't be updating "Unemployed Tensei - Snakeskin Edition" for much longer, and I'll move on to the next one.''

Thank you.

It's funny that Hitogami didn't interfere.
 * Hitogami has learned that messing around with Rudeus while he's still alive can take a turn for the worse, so he's taking his time in another direction.

'''Norn Greyrat’s book 『The Anguish of a Genius - Aisha Greyrat』, Rudo Mercenary Group - K455. Is about this story? (Last volume biography)'''
 * Yes

'''This is the last question. Aisha's obtained a happy ending from your perspective?'''
 * I wrote this as a happy ending. Rudeus has now completely parted from his previous life and Aisha has gone from being a big kid to an adult. I can't say that Ars has fully grown up after this one, but I'm taking the stance that his purpose is now clear and he's starting to move forward, and no matter what happens from now on, he'll figure it out and grow up on his own. However, I can't shake the feeling that there could have been a happier ending, and when I'm asked again if the story has a happy ending with the problems you mentioned, I can't help but nod my head.

About deleting Aisha chapter (February 24, 2016)
Original Link: http://mypage.syosetu.com/mypageblog/view/userid/288399/blogkey/1354850/

Author Thoughs

The previous Aisha story was a story that I had many reflections on. While reading the opinions of everyone and reflecting on them and examining what was wrong, i made small corrections, but even if make small corrections, I will not convince the persons who says it is hard, It was a tough situation. In addition, some people pointed out that the “Redundancy arc” corresponds to “the post-daily story of Mushoku Tensei”, that is, “Rudeus lived happily after that. So, they were  convinced that I shouldn't have brought a big and stressful story there.

So now, what shall i do? While i was continuing with minor corrections, making major revisions, or deleting and rewriting from scratch, but I don't think it's a good idea to delete what I've written.... When I was worried about it, I received a notification from the management that the description in a chapter of redundancy conflicts with the terms of use (syosetsu).

So I decided to delete the Aisha chapter.

It feels like an excuse to say that I got a notice from the management, but as I mentioned above, the biggest reason is that even if I make a lot of small changes, it doesn't get dramatically better, and there are still a lot of issues and points to reflect on, so it's not something I can write right away. So I've decided to delete it this time, and to rewrite it again in a few months or years.

After that, I may post a remake of the Aisha edition somewhere, but I'm thinking that I will post it as a separate, independent title rather than in Redundancy (Without violating the Terms of Service, of course.) I plan to do the same form with regard to the story of Orsted, the story of Pergius, and other stories about the children, and stories that don't have much to do with Rudeus. I apologize to those who found this story interesting, but I hope you'll understand.

Thank you.

Nanahoshi chapter Feedback (March 4, 2016)
Original Link: http://mypage.syosetu.com/mypageblog/view/userid/288399/blogkey/1361952/

'''What about the Aisha chapter? You're going to rewrite it, but do you intend to change the settings? Isn't it?''' I wouldn't change the part about Aisha sticking together after eloping with Ars, and Aisha growing up after a big mistake. And I'm going to remake that part of the story that I won't change in a way that makes sense to more people. As a result, the age of both of them, the reason for their love affair, the events leading up to the elopement, their feelings after the elopement, the process of coming back, the cleanup, and other details may change.

Of course, I don't expect everyone to agree with that. It might not change the opinions of the people criticizing this time, in fact, depending on the content, some will say that the deleted one was better. So, in order to be prepared and ready for such criticism, I'm going to "delete it and remake it under a different title". The reason I'm going to use a different title is partly because I plan to write it as "The Story of Aisha and Ars" instead of "The Omake Story of Mushoku Tensei"...

Anyway, if I'm prepared and feel that I've written something that I'm satisfied with, then I'll be fine with it even if some people don't accept it, don't give me any feedback, or even don't read it. My stance is, "I'm not a critic or defender, I'll put it in the form that satisfies me the most first. Once I've satisfied that, I'll do my best to satisfy the people who read it. If that's not possible, then I'll just accept it as a matter of course.

After he finished Redundancy (September 10, 2017)
Original Link: http://mypage.syosetu.com/mypageblog/view/userid/288399/blogkey/1827649/

As for the deleted Aisha version, I'm sure everyone has their own things to say, and I have my own thoughts... but as I've written before, I hope I can eventually rewrite it in a way that makes sense to me. Beyond that, I have no comment. I don't think I'm ready to write it now, so I guess that will be 'after story that I'll write in the future'.

Biefly analisis: Taking in consideration his words and the last two Redundancy chapters, published after he deleted Aisha chapters, Nanahoshi Gourmet (Nanahoshi says that something happened between Ars and Aisha) and the Last that leave the nest (Rudeus says that both are traveling with Perugius), Aisha x Ars still is canon but is going to have some changes how was developed this arc. Is unknown if the author is going to maintain the relationship in the light novel version (mostly because the editorial).